Thanks for the excellent question and for your willingness to come right out and ask it here.

Finding your place within the lifestyle can sometimes be a difficult thing, there's no doubt about that. First of all I need to say this: There is no physical activity that is strictly 'dom' or strictly 'sub'. Ok, take out the specific kneeling or physical surrender positions that many submissives learn <chuckles>

If you enjoy certain activities it does not make you any less of a Dominant, and whoever says it is not ok for a Dominant to like certain things is an idiot. Many Dominants enjoy the things you have listed, and many other activities as well.

If your girl is willing and able to do things for you (or to you) at your request, she is still submitting to your will even though she happens to be the one holding the candle or the whip.

Do you have a desire to submit to her will? Do you want to kneel at her feet and beg, or follow her direction in other areas? If so, you may very well be a switch and there is nothing wrong with that either.

Are you just interested in the physical sensation itself and not the mental surrender? If so, you may want to bottom to fulfill that desire. If your girl can't or isn't able to do what you want you may have to find another top to step into this role when the need arises.

Good Luck,
SilverWulf