thank u so much every 1 for your advice and insight and i can see that my post has stired a fair few debates amongst subs and doms i should let u all know that due to the responses i have recieved and several conversations with my sub we have decided that our relationship is incompatible and she has requested that we no longer participate in the persuit of BDSM, i am not ready to give up my search and discovery but i obviously jumped in to soon and in return got hurt so i will be very causious about how i abroach the lifestyle from now on