My opinion may be either helpful or you'll hate it. If it's the later I appologize.

I used to put my husband and I's business out there for my friends. Very intimate things that he shared with me. His desire to be fucked with a strapon. To be humiliated. His desire to want to be with another man. I didn't think any of this was normal, and though I loved him it made me nervous. I told people who were just my friends, but they were the only friends that were around him frequently. I just realized didn't grasp that some things needed to stay between us. I was 16 years old when he shared all this with me. I am 20 now, and about 6 months ago I realized how much I love Dominating him and how much I love pain. I had my own secrets, and when one of my relationships(a female friend) was completly destroyed due to my inability to keep my mouth shut, I realized just how much I had betrayed him. How much I truely hurt him. To top that off, I also had a best friend in school that never propositioned me for sex. He wanted me to run away with him to London when I graduated and to leave my almost husband alone. A little under a year ago my husband broke down and told me how much I'd hurt him in keeping that relationship.

I told that story to say this: From the moment I realized the amount of mental pain I inflicted on him(unintentionally or not) I have been sorry and trying to make up for it. I don't know if you've realized this or not, but my personal opinion about this past relationship is that she never loved you. I can not imagine mind fucking ANYONE for years and truely saying that I loved them.

Just my opinion of course.