so..what is a real Dom like?

[just_ine]

In my experience D/s is just like a vanilla relationship, but at the same time, so very different to a vanilla relationship.

What is the same? The imperative to communicate, to speak, hear and listen, to look into oneself for continuous, honest (re)assessment and (re)adjustment.

What is different? One leads and one follows. Not by accident, by mutual consent.

This is it. The crux of what a real Dom is like:
He leads. If the way he leads doesn't suit you, tell Him openly and respectfully. Do it with an attitude open too learning and following. If the outcome isn't what you want, then ... Well then it might be time to rethink whether you can really continue to submit.

But you can't dictate How you want to be Dommed.

My Him has told me before, after hearing all I had to say on an issue: I see your point, however, I won't change My mind on this. You need to consider whether you can accept it or not.
(We have been together almost 2 and a half years... I know he didn't say those words easily or flippantly... But I know He must Lead, it is His Mandate)
To today I'd love to change His mind on this issue, but I've decided I will submit. It isn't always fun and easy and sexy. But it remains deeply satisfying on a completely different level.