Off the top of my head, I'd guess you're having troubles truly submitting. How long have you been in this relationship? Do you think that you're still working on building your trust in him enough to be able to better submit? Do you have any other concerns about the relationship, something that might be lurking in your subconscious?

I don't think it's unusual to feel bad about safewording; I always do. Even though I try not to do it, because I trust my husband more than I can possibly say, it can be very easy to become overwhelmed and feel that panic start to set in. In the end, I feel like I've let him down by not trusting him as I should.