Originally posted by LostOne
I had a Dom do the orgasm control thing with me. It had bad results.

I had to tell him if I was close to cumming. Sometimes he would tell me I had permission to cum but other times he would continue the stimulation but tell me over and over I was not allowed to cum. I learned to stop my orgasms on command. The problem was I had a really hard time learning to cum on command.

Next thing I knew, I couldn't cum, period. Permission or no. No orgasms for weeks. Why or how it happened we could never quite figure out.

All I know is orgasm control is not something I look forward to trying again. The whole experience made me feel so inadequate and bad as a submissive. So many weeks spent not being able to do as I was told were heart wrenching. He would command me to cum and I couldn't.

Has anybody had any good results to share and maybe help me let go of the fear of ever trying it again?

Karen
Hi Karen,

i read your post with interest, my god, you poor thing, i am so sorry for you that the Orgasm control/deprivation thing worked out so badly.

i have only had good results with it, but i think the reason for this is two fold - firstly, i am a ridiculously sexual person and hence it would almost seem inappropriate to me for a dominant to just let me cum willy nilly (as it were!), whenever i see fit. This is to say that for me, it is one of the most important elements of me i could give up. Secondly the notion that another person controls something so personal and urgent, for me, only serves to heighten my overall arrousal. Being deprived of an orgasm was once described to me, by a good friend, as 'sweet misery', and this aptly sums it up....it is sweet and pleasurable in the sense that i never feel more in tune with my submissive side than i do when deprived (the misery element is fairly obvious! *g*).

i guess all this still begs the question as to why it was so awful for you and i am wondering about two things. Firstly, you say "I learned to stop my orgasms on demand"....does this means you ALWAYS did this and never failed? i only ask because there are still times when i fail...although this doesn't happen often and possibly means i am not as dedicted as a submissive, i wonder maybe if it could be important psychologically in terms of the ability to cum becoming a problem. Secondly i think the reasons why a dominant uses orgasm control are fairly paramount; this is to say that i think the reason i had orgasm control imposed on me was not to smother me or 'reign me in', there are still huge chunks of time wherein i can play and cum whenever i like, but the point being that however those orgasms occur, i am aware that they are ultimatley attributed to him.

Hope this makes at least some sense and i wish you luck if you try it again in the future.


lucy x