More than one sub...

[dzire2pleeze]

Interesting thought, Q...

Your current dilema has always bothered me as well... I know this is "only" cyber space; nevertheless, some pretty strong bonds are formed here. So, when I see Dominants (submissives as well) in multiple relationships, I feel someone is being cheated in that relationship.

It's difficult, i suppose, for one person to fulfill all your needs... To "complete you" - to quote a line from Jerry McGuire. Still and all... I feel very much like you do. Either commit to one person ...or dammit .... play the field.

Of course, i've always been a one man woman... totally devoted and completely loyal. If Master Rob were to tell me that he's taking another submissive... although I would be heartbroken ...I'd have to say "well have fun and adios." I expect 100% and I don't believe you can have 100%, if you are involved in more than one relationship.

However, if it is agreed upon at the onset perhaps that makes a difference.

I too am very interested in the responses of Dominants and subs who exist in multiple relationships. Thanks for starting this thread, Q.

[Qmoq]

Your current dilema has always bothered me as well... I know this is "only" cyber space; nevertheless, some pretty strong bonds are formed here. So, when I see Dominants (submissives as well) in multiple relationships, I feel someone is being cheated in that relationship.

Thanks for your comments so far, all!

Yes, dzire, those strong online bonds are the ones I was talking about. Can it work with more than one sub? If so, how, and how do people feel? That's what this thread is about

Q xx

[Desperadosong]

I have been in real life 24/7 poly. I was the one that asked if he would please think about getting another. See, Not only am I Bi tendencied (mostly hetro, but with certian women, very Bi), but I wanted him to be as happy as a man could get. I figured if I made him 'happy', imagine how doted on he would be with TWO of us to tend to him!
When the second came, she and I became close friends (are still very close) and we worked together which made even more time we each got with Master, or free time if he so desired it. We all slept in the same bed, and sometimes he'd have sex with one, or both, or maybe she and I and he would have sex with one or both. There was no jealousy, but an extreme amount of love. When she was under the weather, Master still was well cared for by me, and when I was ill, she tended him... he never went without. That made us both happy... and him as well. That situation was perfect until his job transford him to another state and I could not go.

I'll answer those questions shortly when I have a tad more time.... and mention a "semi-poly" situation that didn't work out.

Ds

[Tojo]

Q, I'd like to hear a little more about your own thoughts/experience?

I feel like there's something missing in your post.

Here's a point from lisa re this thread- I'm just talking to her now.

sometimes its a good thing; for a sub, to be able to talk with someone in the same situation/position/mind set they are in

A smart young lady indeed.


Tojo

[Aesop]

Well I'm a bit offended. Not at your questions Qmoq, don't get me wrong, I'll be answering those in a minute. But the "I think it's just greed" and "looking for a quick cum fix" statements are rather insulting to those of us in poly relationships don't cha think? Anyway on to the questions.

For the dom, I’d like to know:
1. Why do you think it’s working, when other similar relationships have failed?

I have to answer this with another question I think. Why do you continue to try for one on one relationships? I assume since you are still looking that you haven't had one succeed yet. I love my girls. What else do I need?

2. If one of your charges complained, what would you do?

Talk to her. Find the root of the problem and try to find a solution that works for everyone.

3. Why did you take on a second sub?

Because it was right.

4. Do you think either sub might not be totally truthful about having a rival for their affections, because they are worried that they might be the one who is dropped (or equally, because they like the other sub and don’t want to see them hurt)? This includes their response to this thread.

That's a loaded question Q. Everyone is afraid of being dropped, regardless of their relationship. People in one on one are afraid that the other might find someone better, people in poly are afraid of being dropped for their partners. It's common jealousy and the way to deal with it is to deal with it. Openly and without trying to manipulate the situation.

5. How would you respond to an ultimatum? Most good doms on this site
aren’t the “my way or the highway” kind of chap.

No I'm not the "my way or the highway" kind of guy, but lets face it; if your relationship has gotten to the ultimatum point it's over already anyway.

6. Do you ever feel as though you can’t spend enough time with each sub? If so, can you clarify question three?

Of course I do. Do you ever feel as though you can't spend enough time with a single partner? Work, children, life itself gets in the way. It's what you do with the time you do have that counts.

Maybe, because I have yet to find that special someone, maybe there is a little jealousy. (I know that you’re all suspecting me of thinking “Why does he have two wonderful people, when I’ve not found one?” and I’d be a liar if I didn’t say that I do think that at times.)

Like you I mean no offense when I say I think there may be more than a little jealousy here. Or maybe just some cynicism about relationships in general lurking about. Your questions seem to be more on the order of "Ah ha! I caught you!" then natural curiosity. I could be waaaay off base here because I'm a bit nettled at some of the other comments made so if I am I apologize and hope I've given you some good answers.

[Desperadosong]

1. Would you be more content if you were the only sub, or are you really happier being in a three-way relationship? If so, why?

Depends on the relationship. When the time is right, and the right person comes along, then that's when it feels good... as with any other relationship, to try to hurry or press the issue only brings tension.

2. When you have no contact with your dom for a while, do you get jealous? Do you think he is concentrating on the other sub?

Since I only do real life, 24/7, I'd have to say no. Sometimes it is neccessary for him to spend a lil additional time with one sub or the other.

3. Would you ever consider issuing an ultimatum (“If I can’t be the only one, it has to end.”)?


No.


4. What did you feel when the second (or third etc) sub was brought into the relationship? Or, if you were the second, how did you feel about the first sub?

I welcomed her with literally open arms. We are still very close to this day.

Ds