Well, I can understand the swaying emotions of going r/l r/t. I struggled with that and decided it IS something I want and need in my life. I still struggle with that sometimes. Not that I would ever go back to a vanilla relationship, but sometimes, I wonder if being a slave is practical. Then I remember how centered and at peace I am as a slave and all thoughts of not being a slave fade.

It's a thought you will struggle with at various points in your life. Re-evaluate every now and then and make sure you are getting what you need and want from the relationship. There's nothing wrong in that. If we didn't waver, then we wouldn't be human. Just go with what's in your heart.....the rest will solve itself.

Good luck

Talia