A is for Aftercare

[DemonGoddess]

I guess I've never given it much thought. After having read this thread though and giving it some thought I think that aftercare is applicable to more than just BDSM relationships and scenes. There are too many relationships where sex is (if I may steal the expression...) "Wham Bham ThankYou Ma'am" cuddling and talking afterwards is a good thing even if the talking isn't about the scene. So that there is a conection on more than the sexual level. Well not more. Just on a different level.

[Ozme52]

I guess I've never given it much thought. After having read this thread though and giving it some thought I think that aftercare is applicable to more than just BDSM relationships and scenes. There are too many relationships where sex is (if I may steal the expression...) "Wham Bham ThankYou Ma'am" cuddling and talking afterwards is a good thing even if the talking isn't about the scene. So that there is a conection on more than the sexual level. Well not more. Just on a different level.

And here I always thought Wham-Bam was specifically a bdsm term.

But seriously, when you think about it, all human relations require fore, during, and after exchange. Even something as mundane as making a deal or signing a contract, often includes a celebration by the parties involved. We need some kind of release after the stress of the event.

[learningtopleez]

Being held, and kissed, and cuddled after an intense scene is something every Dom should know! Of course that's just what I prefer!

I'm sure it's quite different for every sub, or for every couple, but aftercare is a must, no matter what type of aftercare you choose.

Thanks maddie for this thread!

[ropenhighheels]

Being held, and kissed, and cuddled after an intense scene is something every Dom should know! Of course that's just what I prefer!

I'm sure it's quite different for every sub, or for every couple, but aftercare is a must, no matter what type of aftercare you choose.

Thanks maddie for this thread!

Of course it is a MUST beautiful! We've already talked about that now haven't we??

[Echoes]

Thank you maddie and everyone who has contributed with their perspectives and views. It has helped me to understand a bit more (after I posted initial post in the wrong section!) at least I managed to hit the right forum

[elliemay]

Aftercare to me is so important (as a sub) I tend to react strongly, not being particulary submissive in everyday life the shift in my frame of mind which happens naturally can be overwhelming when the scene is over.
I have a tendency also to be affected by the highs of the session, I shake and cry and tend to feel spaced or sick after and need to ground myself.
So I tend to need physical contact, holding and hugging. To me if we have had a particularly intense session I tend to get a touch clingly for a few days after, like I feel the distance between us more, I think it's part of the strengthening connection being that when we move away from that intensity it leaves a feeling of loss or distance that in reality is not there.

just my thoughts.