zephyrs scream

[ElectricBadger]

I really like the images, great job Echoes -- though I have to admit I don't follow it at all, but then maybe I'm not meant to?

[TheDeSade]

Oh yes! .. . what a densely packed mass of images. Layer on layer of emotion, image and an almost pleading need to be heard and understood. I like it. But I would ask one question? Did you consider beginning the poem with the same stanza with which you ended?

[Echoes]

Oh yes! .. . what a densely packed mass of images. Layer on layer of emotion, image and an almost pleading need to be heard and understood. I like it. But I would ask one question? Did you consider beginning the poem with the same stanza with which you ended?

that would work most wonderfully TheDeSade. I did think of it, but at the same time taking the second repetition out, thinking there would be too much and I was not happy with only the loss of this...but with the three...perhaps it lends a clearer picture and is not too much. let me try this here...

opening her mouth
she wordlessly keens
a zephyrs scream;
feral wet wind
whistling tendered leaves
seeking liberty

an escalation of heartbeat,
manifestation to predatory,
captured unyielding
amid denseness of trees,
senses flayed reckless,
wanton in saturation

opening her mouth
she wordlessly keens
a zephyrs scream;
feral wet wind
whistling tendered leaves
in chorded starvation

lapping wetness,
to collide dreams complete
seeking sovereignty
on this haunted hallowed eve.
The full moon pitched,
tripped and heaved

to sigh and wither into liquid
stirring scarlet wisps satiny
black, coiling
in repressed aggression
eyes of panther piercing ease
plundering with eternity

opening her mouth
she wordlessly keens
a zephyrs scream;
feral wet wind
whistling tendered leaves
seeking liberty.

thank you

[TheDeSade]

[opening her mouth
she wordlessly keens
a zephyrs scream;

YES!. . . . the repetition of that line drives home what I perceive to be the core of this piece. Everything else ties back to the image it evokes. It rocks!

[Echoes]

YES!. . . . the repetition of that line drives home what I perceive to be the core of this piece. Everything else ties back to the image it evokes. It rocks!

I love your passion and it was immense joy to dance with you amongst words and emotions. I have not done this before and thank you for showing me this.

[Echoes]

Thank you EB and Talia for reaffirming this was entirely a different poem and opening it for discussion and invigorating my mind.

[Echoes]

I really like the images, great job Echoes -- though I have to admit I don't follow it at all, but then maybe I'm not meant to?

EB, I would love it if you or anyone could follow or understand...sometimes I only understand the picture I paint and emotions and desire behind words, but not the words themselves...yet each word is chosen carefully to express exactly what I feel and give. Have you ever tried to capture the wind and tame her? Much like an echo I fear, a feat almost improbable, but possible. Thank you