Katmandu your post certainly seems reasonable. However, at the same time it can be problematic.

You have to find a balance between someone who believes in safe, sane and consensual yet at the same time will fulfill the rest of your desires. I would suggest perhaps going back to some of your other lovers who were a little light handed and see if perhaps there is a devil under the skin whom you might be able to set free.

Good luck and be safe.