If R/l stresses me out I want him to take charge.

We step outside our roles and into the friends we have always been when one of us is not feeling well (for nurturing), or a disagreement/miscommunication or misunderstanding between us, where we need to be equals to hash it out. Immediately followed by returning to our roles.

Perhaps it's not just stress. Maybe that's not the best way to describe what he's going through. He may be depressed or worried. Needing nurturing, instead of dominance.