Question about Psychology of BDSM (with apologies)

[moptop]

It is not bad to pursue any relationship where you and your partner or partners are carrying out your activities in an atmosphere "genuinely formed out of love, respect and trust"

I did actually write you a huge great long philosphical musing about the question you first posted - what makes us psychologically be D/s or into BDSM. You have since posted this, which is a whole new kettle of fish - so I didn't post it.

Certainly: if someone has gone through a traumatic or unhealthy experience, and they sublimate it and then become turned on by it, but consciously, carefully, with consent from others if others are involved, then it is healthy. Why not? You could also look at it as being the best way to learn from a bad experience: to re-live it, and turn it into something good. From that, one would become, I think, a better and stronger person. Perhaps one would also learn to forgive the people involved in the previous events.

What I suppose could be considered unhealthy is if re-playing the previous events was the only way that person could get pleasure: I would not consider that healthy, because it sounds to me to be incomplete. However, again, if they are happy (i.e. feel completed) with that, and if they find a partner/partners who are equally fulfilled by it, then just because it doesn't sound healthy to me doesn't mean it's not. I would hope, for that person's sake, however, that they would with time come out of the trauma-fetish cycle (if fetish is the right term), so that they can learn to enjoy more.

I can't think of any other examples off hand.

[Mumei]

I did actually write you a huge great long philosphical musing about the question you first posted - what makes us psychologically be D/s or into BDSM. You have since posted this, which is a whole new kettle of fish - so I didn't post it.

Do you still have a copy of that other post? (As I'd be interested in seeing it as well.)

mumei