I had a similar problem for awhile until I sat down and talked wiht my husband about exactly what I wanted. As I have said many times he is the sweetest guy ever and never even ponded the idea of doing things that woudl hurt me to please me... He's slowly getting more comfortable, and it is taking a while. Are you in a relationship right now? i wasn't sure on that... But either way some people don't realize they can or enjoy dominating some one until they actually try it. If youa re in a relationship take hte time to talk about it and explain exactly what it is you want. it will probably take baby steps to get where you want it to be. If you aren't in a relationship, then maybe try looking specifically for people with that shared interest.