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  1. #1
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Sunny Southern California
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    No, you don't have to pay the actual domme. Think of visiting there as a place to meet like minded people and find a potential domme/girlfriend.

    Many local groups hold "munches" in restaurants, so you can meet the members in regular clothes outside of the dungeon environment.

    You can google munches, BDSM, clubs, etc for your specific area if you'd like to meet folks in real life.

    Note: Be aware of the rules for the munch before you attend. Some have taboo topics, while others are fairly open.

    You can also attend a BDSM expo or fair where they sell toys and have classes to increase your knowledge base and people network.

    Me? I'm at one with my duality. I switch, therefore I am.
    Vampire erotica stories are posted here http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/stories/a...?authorid=1290
    Visit http://www.vampirespet.com/ActivityChecklist.html for a Submissive / Dominant / Switch Activity Checklist.


  2. #2
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    New England
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    470
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    Hi dynamicbutler,

    Sorry to hear things aren't working out that well, particularly with the fear during bondage.

    From what it sounds like, your girlfriend and you are traveling where you perhaps haven't discussed. Would communication help out here at all? Have you ever expressed to her your desire to be dominated and what aspects you enjoy? The key to any power exchange is communication because it allays our fears, and can also give the dominant time to figure out in their mind how to best play with their submissive in a comfortable-for-all situation, particularly if it's new territory.

    She may also need a little help... but I'm suspect there's a level of domme in her if she's tying you up and talking about strap-ons, granted her reactions need major work. Perhaps she's unaware that a man's g-spot is located internally, or that having her use a strap-on would be an intense submissive experience for you. Is it possible her reactions are due to inexperience?

    I know your reticent to go speak to someone professional, but if you're reactions to bondage were that with someone you love and trust... most likely it's going to happen again. You seem very sincere in your desire to be submissive that maybe it's worth it to try and figure out how you can practice it without feeling uncomfortable.

    Munches and such may be a great way for you to also see (particularly if it's a play dungeon) how other people react in situations, etc.

    Best of luck to you!

    cheers,
    Orchidsoul
    bad girls, bad girls....
    what ya gonna do when they come for you?

  3. #3
    The Toy Maker
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    96
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ruby View Post
    No, you don't have to pay the actual domme. Think of visiting there as a place to meet like minded people and find a potential domme/girlfriend.

    Many local groups hold "munches" in restaurants, so you can meet the members in regular clothes outside of the dungeon environment.

    You can google munches, BDSM, clubs, etc for your specific area if you'd like to meet folks in real life.

    Note: Be aware of the rules for the munch before you attend. Some have taboo topics, while others are fairly open.

    You can also attend a BDSM expo or fair where they sell toys and have classes to increase your knowledge base and people network.
    You said it much better than me thanks.
    Because We Represent What Others Fear To Acknowledge

  4. #4
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Sunny Southern California
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    1,325
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sextoymaker
    You said it much better than me thanks.
    Thank you for the compliment.

    dynamicbuttler, have fun exploring the many different types of groups and meeting people who go to the clubs.

    Me? I'm at one with my duality. I switch, therefore I am.
    Vampire erotica stories are posted here http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/stories/a...?authorid=1290
    Visit http://www.vampirespet.com/ActivityChecklist.html for a Submissive / Dominant / Switch Activity Checklist.


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