Quote Originally Posted by TheDeSade View Post
Because there are some many variables in a D/s or BDSM relationship, one all encompassing definition is almost impossible to find. First and foremost I would think that it depends on the roles that the persons in the relationship have defined for themselves. Is it a D/s relationship, Master/slave, Top/Bottom relationship? Within the scope of those definitions, what limits are in play, what relational rules, what parameters on roles have been negotiated? In the end, I think that the definition of "topping from the bottom" is slightly different in every relationship.TDS
I read something from an article at www.differentequals.com and had saved it a while ago. The title of the article was "topping from the bottom vs. inspiration." It definitely echoes what DeSade states above.

"Is it a Dominant's job to make you submit? - Or to inspire you to submit? Let's flip the concept around: Is it a submissive's job to make someone Dominate? - Or to inspire them to Dominate?

The answer is obvious. But, obvious or not, many people never internalize it. When a submissive "tops from the bottom" the line between "making" and "inspiring" has been crossed - And the reason that stinks has little to do with D/s and much to do with consensuality.

Put the Dominant hat on and it becomes even clearer. If I make someone submit... it's non-consensual.

By contrast, "inspiring" not only confers consent. It also confers pride. And pride has everything to do with D/s.

If you accept that a submissive's duty is to make her Dominant proud - Then you must inspire Her to Dominate.

I quite like this line of reasoning. It seems appropriate to Me that both the Dominant and submissive are bound by a shared rule of conduct. It also seems to articulate the notion that submissives have a duty to inspire."

(i highlited that part...)

Isn't it all about communicating needs, understanding the relationship you have with your partner, sometimes testing those boundaries but ultimately, taking responsibility - and accepting the consequences - for your actions within that relationship?

Everyone has had some great input and it's wonderful to read different perspectives!