The first advice I can give you is to talk talk and then talk some more. Perhaps it might be helpful to fill out some of the checklists that are available.

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/sh...ight=checklist

That might give you a place to start. When there has been abuse in the past it is importand that limits are set and respected and all activities are taken slowly. You never know what will trigger hidden emotions and feelings that may result in a scene not playing out the way you both thought.

You have to think very hard about how you would react if you were to be spanked or physical contact, being restrained and so on. What about verbal humilation, name calling or orders. I have had things trigger unpleasant memories or emotions that were suppressed and sometimes the action that triggered it was not one I would have expected. It's importand for your partner to know this too, to be very aware and to watch you to make sure that at all times you are cared for. As you both develop trust, communication and learn what and how you want to play and interact you will find that some things you can let go of and some things you will realize you are not able to go there.

Each persons journey is different and with the risk of sounding corny, if you have been blessed to find someone who puts you first in exploring and lets you lead where your comfort zones are. Who allows true open communication and trust to grow between you (it is a two way street if they are willing to hear you must take the steps to talk and allow them to show they are worthy of trust) then I think you may find some healing too. I know I did.