Never say never. However, at this point I will say no, I couldn't give it up. If you asked me six months ago, I would have given you an entirely different answer.

Nobody can tell you to give up your vanilla relationship. But nobody can tell you to give up BDSM either. That is something you will have to reconcile for yourself.

I think the balance of need, desire, love, etc., is different for each person. Only you will be able to decide what is most important for you.

I now include "Dominant tendencies" on my list of non-negotiables in a potential relationship. It is right up there with intelligence, sense of humour, ambition, and desire for a family (someday).

It took me a long time to come to the realization that I deserve to get everything I want. One thing I do know for sure is that every day you spend compromising is one more day you are missing out on what you truly want.