It's odd that you should pose this question and me see it during this dynamic time in my life. I definitely understand your situation. I am in a situation now where my vanilla husband has found out about my online relationships, as well as the r/l relationship that led to me discovering my submissive side. My choices are to either walk away from the lifestyle completely....or give him up. As of yet, I haven't done either...i'm still trying to figure out how much this is a part of me and how much of a marriage I have left to try and save....Feel free to email/IM anytime...
-Medic