I am going to take submissive liberties with that quote and change it up a bit to suit my feelings on the matter. "It's better to die on your knees than live standing." It's the same sentiment, so hopefully Tom or Zapata won't be offended by the subbie modification.
And that leads me to my answer. No, I wouldn't give up my submissiveness for the man I love. I know this because I tried. And I don't want to tell my story in your thread, but I can empathize with you on this. I, too, deeply wanted this BDsM facet as a part of my life. I also thought my husband knew what I wanted and needed. Turns out he didn't. After some wonderful advice from some really wonderful people here, I talked to him at length about Dominance and submission and he said he had no idea I felt so strongly about it. Now, we are talking about how we can have a more D/s relationship. Just the fact that it's being discussed is more than I ever dared dream.
So cadence, I don't think you should have to push aside your wants and needs. Being in a committed partnership should be about each feeling as fulfilled as possible. I realize I know nothing of your relationship. Even so, I will offer the words that were offered to me...be as honest and explicit as you can be and let him know once again that this goes soul deep for you. I will keep you in my thoughts, hoping it will work out as you wish and that you find just how it is your life's puzzle fits together.
All my best-
tessa