Psynymph, I know of what you speak. In my vanilla world growing up, virtue in regards to "good girls" was defined as sexual purity. And from what I observed, sexual purity was something to be endured, not appreciated. You spoke about the more "prized" submissives, but wasn't it the same for vanilla girls? The ones that were willing to "throw it all out there" were the ones who had the most fun at the party on Saturday night. (Or were they?) It made for conflicting feelings to be the "good girl" but wanting to be the "fun girl". These feelings also helped me board a few very misguided trains of thought...one of them being "virtue = prudishness". So similar to you, I had a very hard time giving voice to my deep, dark inner desires. And that held me back from living my life in any real sense. But for me, the time came when I just had to be open and true to me. Once I allowed myself to embrace my submissive nature and what that meant for me, I became free and therein found my own personal sense of virtue.

One definition puts it this way: "virtue is the quality of doing what is right and avoiding what is wrong". And "right and wrong" is for each of us to decide within ourselves. And it should be very much a part of our BDsM world, in my little opinion. Maybe looking at virtue in this way will guide you along in some way? I hope it does, at least.

My very best to you-
tessa