D/s outside one's marriage

[annie]

From time to time I read things on the internet from people who are married, but also have a dom or a sub who isn't their spouse, often just online. And often it seems like the spouse doesn't know about it.

I'm trying not to be accusatory here, but... I don't get it. How is this not simple adultery/cheating? What am I missing about the relationships that makes this sort of thing acceptable?

Think "adultery/cheating" is a very broad term that each difines differently on many levels.

If my finding sexual stimulation through an on-line D/s relationship is considered cheating/adultery then the same would need to be applied to my husbands desire to look at porn on-line. After all... same ending results for each person just a different method in getting there...

Secondly, not to sound like Clinton, but what does the foundation of "cheating/adultery" really mean. Is it just the sexual stimulation or is it actual physical intercourse or is it simply having the emotional needs met by another?

And... does the other spouse not know because they don't want to know?

And from one's perspective, up bringing, culture, etc. it may be defined as cheating/adultery. That may not be the same case for others though based on the same criteria.

And, before fingers get pointed at the "adulterous/cheating" spouse.... why has the "cheating" occurred? Where there other options? What were those negatives?

Each situation is extremely different based on the people involved and the circumstances... so i don't think there is one truly clear cut answer. It is something that each person has to look at, evaluate, and decide for themselves... and it isn't up to the rest of the world to judge the decision that comes from it.