Quote Originally Posted by tessa
I growl out, "could you DO something?!?" in a tone of voice that even to me sounded alien. ~hears the gasps of "oh she didn't!"~ Yes, I did. And it was ugly. In my own defense, rarely does something like this ever occur. I mean it could be more frequent as I am very human, but I have more than a bit of self control when it comes to angry outbursts.
From a dominants point of view, and from a point of view that this type of behavior is one I actually avoid, rather than confront. I can understand why he didn't respond. However it also depends on how you react to being confronted. When upset like you were, if he had confronted you, would you have backed down, or would you have gotten more angry and let it escalate into a verbal fighting match? If you are the type of person who would have backed down, and he knows this. Then yes, I can understand your frustration. If you are the kind of person not to back down. Then I understand why he did nothing.

As to what it means for your relationship. Working on your verbal training would probably be a good place to start. Using Sir/Master at the beginning or ending of sentences for instance. Asking for permission to eat or leave the table when done eating, asking for permission to smoke or use the bathroom. Relearn your submission and be trained on how to speak, since this was the area that you had a problem in. Learning how to ask for something in a submissive form of speech would be what you should work on.

Now you might be thinking 'but you and karin failed, why is your advice any good?' Well, yes we failed, but it was due mostly to both of us not expressing our feelings, keeping them bottled up, and then when we couldn't stand it anymore we caused a fight over what we had previously not said bothered us. The breakdown in communication is what pushed us apart.

As a submissive, you may tend to not express your dislike or discomfort for a situation or activity because you want him happy. That is ok, what isn't ok is if he asks you are you ok with something, and you are not, yet you express you are. That is setting the whole situation up for failure. Same goes for him, and you may think as a Dominant he shouldn't be doing this. If he loves you, he won't be able to help doing it, making compromises due to the love you feel for someone comes quite naturally to people I think.

Anyway, hope my view helps.