Is It A Conscious Decision?

[DrkRvn]

There have been a few times I have chosen to disobey. Generally it has been when i am getting frustrated with either my Lord's lack of direction or lack of action. It might partially be because He is still trying to figure out how to fit it all into our life, but I do get frustrated when He says He will punish me later for something and never really does. and then when a week goes by and i have accidently done things wrong and He still hasn't punished me for any of them, i have on occation acted out purposely to get Him to pay some Masterly attention to me.We both agreed a D/s relationship was something we wanted to explore in a more 24/7 fashion, but its still alot off trial adn error to get there, and He just gets busy with other things and forgets sometimes.

But it is very hard to break habits or mannerisms for a long term task, I have bitten my nails all my life, my Lord wants me to stop. I go about two or three weeks before i somehow enivitable fail adn accidently bite one while I am frustrated or not thinking. Its getting easier each time but it is very frustrating. He also made me go 72 hours wiht out biting him in any way even just saying bite adn that took almost a whole week, and a tantrum where I bit him excessively because I was less than 12 hours away and half asleep adn bit him and had to start over. Even when you are trying very hard not to do something if its somethign your body is used to it slips up at times.