Thanks to everyone for all the support and encouragement (both in this thread and in PM). You guys are fantastic.

I'm going to stick with what I said earlier, as the farther I get from the situation, the more perspective I find. Yes, I think some subs are deliberately disobedient. I agree with what almost everyone who posted before and after me...it's a sign something is wrong. Communication is necessary. If you can't communicate (or if you try and the problem doesn't get fixed), you have to ask yourself lots hard questions.

I think it's terribly easy to get wrapped up in being a sub. I know how much I want for it to happen. I see what a lot of folks on here enjoy and I won't lie...I'm jealous. But as someone else wisely pointed out to me, wanting someone to be the right Dom for you and that actually happening...well, sometimes we don't always get what we want. It's hard to accept that and move on. I wish I could say I got it right the first time...or the second...or the third. But I'm learning something important in the process...patience. Rome wasn't built in a day.

Anyway...thanks again everyone. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who stumbles, sometimes.