ok the ORIGINAL question, as far as i can make out, said :
One person satisfies you BDSM wise but their personality is not perfect for you. The Other person, has the personality you want but MAY or MAYNOT be BDSM.
so, for me, YES i have to have BDSM in my life BUT i would rather go with the personality person and introduse them to BDSM. a person can always learn BDSM, but i fear you cannot learn to have a good personality.
and if the one i chose didnt go for BDSM in the long run, then i would just have to look again!