Quote Originally Posted by phantasy_seeker View Post
How important is the BDSM element in a relationship, for you? Not necessarily the sex, mind you, but anything at all involved in it -- the feeling of control that your partner exudes, etc. Imagine yourself, single and available. Yet, if you were able to choose between two partners -- 1 who satisfied you completely where BDSM was concerned, but was somewhat lacking in good personality, and the other, who may or may not be open to BDSM but who was far, far better personality wise. Which would be more important to you? Or would you turn down anything less than perfect (and in my opinion, nobody in this world can ever be perfect)?

Returning to the original question. The dominance which I would seek in a partner would be part of his personality, it is not something which he could turn on and off, so it would not be possible for me to find someone whose personality was a good fit who was not dominant.

Perhaps more in the spirit of your question, if I could not have both I would not have either.

cariad