Doms: age, experience, maturity?

[nightsilver]

I actually just found out that my boyfriend/dom is younger than I am - he doesn't talk about his age, he runs his own business and most people would be reluctant to sign the kind of deals he's doing with someone only just out of their teens. He doesn't mention it, just lets people assume that he's older than he is.

He has more experience than I do, is certainly mature for his age, although being young and silly myself too much maturity is not on my list of qualifications.

I don't think I'd want to be with someone terribly much older than myself, I enjoy being silly and immature too much. I don't need someone much more experienced than I am, although much less would be more difficult, I'm a lousy teacher.
I don't want a dom to be my guide and teacher, I want a partner who I can explore this crazy world of kink with together. Someone more experienced, more mature, older, would make me feel like a student, not an equal in the relationship. And that's what I need, there may be a power dynamic in the relationship, but if I didn't feel that I was equal to my partner I wouldn't be happy in the relationship.

Also, I'm most likely shaping my current 'ideal' to fit the guy I'm with right now, because I'm completely head over heels like that.

I think you are thinking as maturity being synonymous with serious whereas I view maturity as realizing there is a time and place for everything. Of course I may have the wrong definition here.

Given how maturity is used here, I would say part of it (pull from sir russel here) is knowing the difference between reality and fantasy. Rhabbi was implying that maturity has a lot to deal with how a person interacts with another (controlling or just a jerk). Adding my own in, realizing there is a time for everything is a big part of maturity. Being able to admit when making a mistake and trying to change from it.

Of course, I too love to be able to be able to joke around with my friends yet my sisters friends seem to be immature to me. I wonder how much my definition of maturity will change over the next ten and twenty years.

I am wondering now, is immaturity disjoint from maturity? What would you guys think makes a person immature? Selfish and unrealistic? Perhaps misplaced priorities in life (and maybe this is where the serious vs. silly thing comes into play)?

Bare with me as I ramble, please. First as a teen I freaked my friends and a lot of adults I proposed that there should be 3 marriages for each person. The first should be any old person say 45 or more to a young person, giving the older person a means to recapture youth and drive. Allowing the young person to learn from one with experience and knowledge to be treated tenderly, protected and loved. I felt that would be a far trade off and I guess I still do. The second would have been 30 to 30 to allow each the passion of like experiences also it is a time for children so that they are raised by people that have reached a sufficeint level of maturity to be up to that task. Third would be 65 and over to another 65 and older. That allows for that laid back time where physical drives are waning and the companiship of one with similar life experiences and values.

I find this idea has a lot of good points to it. I even think I read scifi book once where this was a change in social behavior but for the life of me I cannot remember the book. My major question to you is in the first marriage.

Is it better to explore the world together as vistana was talking about or having someone there to able to guide and teach? I remember the nervousness of my first time. I had tried to prepare myself researching on the internet about different parts of the woman's body and what to do to pleasure her yet when I was with her I made so many mistakes. I found that exploring and learning and making mistakes together brought us closer together.

Although I can see the inherent benefit of a young man learning from an older woman (maybe more men would be able to pleasure women then...), as a relationship I wonder how close they would become. Would the intimacy still be there regardless of the age gap? I am trying to picture myself in such a situation but being with a woman older than my mom just feels foreign to me.

My other question is that can each person only have one marriage at a time? And thus the three throughout their life. Or can they have up to three at once? Again, I wonder about how managing emotions of jealousy there. If it is one at a time, as I learn from my first marriage and then I leave her to marry a younger woman to raise a family with, I could see myself feeling heartbroken leaving her. And once my kids are raised leaving my wife I raised children with to marry a new woman? And then going back to her at 65 ish?

I think it would make sense if the older and younger person marriage was just a more casual relationship where the experienced one tutors the younger one.

Apologies for the long winded post. Sorry if it's a bit incoherent at points/