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  1. #1
    guiding littlemis
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
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    UK
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    The traditional introductory post

    Hello Everyone,

    I just stumbled across this site today, it's certainly made my day. There is so much here I can learn from. It seems a much more welcoming community than other sites of this type I've seen. I'm new to this way of life, I've been pretty sure I'm a dom for a little while now but I lack the experience to do it well. Whatever I do I like to do it well, so hopefully I can learn from the experiences of those who have been here a while. I suppressed this side of my personality for a long time. In the circles I move in this lifestyle is officially classified as 'wierd'. I feel pretty normal from where I'm sitting so I've decided it's time to follow my instincts.

    I have experimented with D/s in the past but my (now former but not for this reason) partner wasn't interested and obviously it's very much a two way process. Having read a few threads here I think I may have tried to run before I could walk in the past. Still, everyone makes mistakes. I think the trick is not to make the same ones twice.

    I found the 'Acid test for Doms' thread (which I now can't find again) interesting reading. A great deal of what was written there makes perfect sense to me but I also think I may have got some things wrong in the past. It gave me some good insights into how things appear from a subs perspective. I now know I have more to learn than I thought I did. Everyone has to start from somewhere, this is my beginning.

    Anyway, this has rambled on for longer than I intended. I shall stop now and go and learn some more

    Pleased to meet you all

  2. #2
    cariad
    Guest
    Well a traditional introduction deserves a traditional welcome, and it is a delight to be able to do so.

    I once heard a rumour that we were all once new to this lifestyle, and what is more that we are still learning. Here at the BDSMlibrary we totally refute that rumour knowing that we were all created as perfect experienced Dom/mes, sub and switches, who would not know how to start making a mistake. We also deny that world peace is not a current reality, and that coffee goes cold and icecream goes warm if you leave them unattended.

    Welcome to forums, and I look forward to sharing this space with you.

    If I remember where I last saw the Acid Test for Doms I will let you know.


    cariad

  3. #3
    princess
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Northern New Jersey
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    Blog Entries
    9
    Hello and Welcome!!! hope you enjoy this forum as much as W/we do...ive been here everyday since i joined LOL....

    kurixxx

  4. #4
    guiding littlemis
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
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    UK
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    thanks for the warm welcome.

    Cariad: I remembered where I saw the acid test thread. It's a sticky in the Personals forum, here http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=3647

  5. #5
    Banned
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    Mar 2006
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    welcome doc I need to tell you that some people's mistakes in this life style are other people's getting it right.

    I preach that you have to listen, question, and plan to be safe, sane, sensual and consensual. Look around ask question, you will be amazed at the number and differing responses you will receive.

    Russell

  6. #6
    guiding littlemis
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
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    UK
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir_Russell View Post
    welcome doc I need to tell you that some people's mistakes in this life style are other people's getting it right.

    I preach that you have to listen, question, and plan to be safe, sane, sensual and consensual. Look around ask question, you will be amazed at the number and differing responses you will receive.

    Russell
    Thanks for the advice. Mistake might be the wrong word. The problem was that I was with a person who wasn't interested in a D/s lifestyle. She tried it for a while for my benefit but ultimately we just wanted different things. We've since gone our separate ways quite amicably and we're still good friends. Something I never thought possible previously

  7. #7
    Banned
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    Mar 2006
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    Good first step in joining a very large and varied community. I can send you copies of my bdsm hard limits questionaire, one for you the Dom and one for your perspective sub/slave. You will find that it helps you decide on compatibility for the two of you. If her hard limits are things you desire then it will not work easily. If her wants are your hard limits the it will not work easily. Another words you early on find out if there is deal breakers. Of course if all you want is temporary playmates then the negotiations will be much less important since avoiding a conflict is much easier for a ONE NIGHT STAND SORTA.

    Russell

  8. #8
    Master's kitten
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
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    Adopted Aussie residing in England for now
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    Hello and welcome to the forums. I saw from another post that you are also UK based.

    If you have any questions or anything like that then please do not hesitate to ask... for those who dont ask wont know. no matter how silly the question maybe.

    Hope to see u in the chatroom as well at some stage

    ceegee
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    *Whatever O/our Souls Are Made Of,
    His and Mine Are The Same.*
    Emily Bronte


    ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

  9. #9
    cariad
    Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir_Russell View Post
    \I can send you copies of my bdsm hard limits questionaire, one for you the Dom and one for your perspective sub/slave.
    Now that makes perfect sense, just never heard of one for Doms before.

    *must be take head out of hole time*

    cariad

  10. #10
    Master's kitten
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
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    Adopted Aussie residing in England for now
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    Quote Originally Posted by cariad View Post
    Now that makes perfect sense, just never heard of one for Doms before.

    *must be take head out of hole time*

    cariad

    they do something simular over on another BDSM site...they set questionaires etc etc if u so wish to fill them in
    ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


    *Whatever O/our Souls Are Made Of,
    His and Mine Are The Same.*
    Emily Bronte


    ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

  11. #11
    guiding littlemis
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
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    UK
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir_Russell View Post
    I can send you copies of my bdsm hard limits questionaire, one for you the Dom and one for your perspective sub/slave.

    Russell
    That would be great. What's the easiest way to do this? Shall I PM you an e-mail address or will you post them somewhere here.

    I'm really quite amazed by this place, I've been here less than a day and already I feel like I'm among old friends.

    thanks guys

  12. #12
    Master's kitten
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
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    Adopted Aussie residing in England for now
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    grinzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz thats the joy of being part of a massive family...everyone is made to feel welcome
    ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


    *Whatever O/our Souls Are Made Of,
    His and Mine Are The Same.*
    Emily Bronte


    ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

  13. #13
    Banned
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    Mar 2006
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    Go to Knowledge Base and then down to the threads section below the questions section.

    I do request a copy of filled out questionaires and comments for improving it.

    Russell

  14. #14
    Always Learning
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
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    This planet...I think.
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrGeordie
    I'm really quite amazed by this place, I've been here less than a day and already I feel like I'm among old friends.
    It only gets better! This is indeed a most lovely place to be.

    I had to nod in agreement while reading your initial posting. I, too, always tried to run ahead, thinking I knew just where I was going. By being part of this community, I've discovered that's it's just fine to walk along, savoring the experience of learning.

    A most sincere welcome to the Forums, DrGeordie!
    "Life is just a chance to grow a soul."
    ~A. Powell Davies


  15. #15
    Collared for Eternity
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Georgia
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    Once you put your hand in the flame,
    You can never be the same.
    There's a certain satisfaction
    In a little bit of pain.
    I can see you understand.
    I can tell that you're the same.
    If you're afraid, well, rise above.
    I only hurt the ones I love.

  16. #16
    Just being me
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
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    UK
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    ~smiles~

    Hello and welcome to the forums, as you can see a wealth of information at your fingertips - have fun exploring and looking forward to reading your posts

    minxy x
    Just being me for Him

  17. #17
    cariad
    Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by DrGeordie View Post
    I'm really quite amazed by this place, I've been here less than a day and already I feel like I'm among old friends.
    When you have been here two days we let you help with the washing up...

    cariad

  18. #18
    Master's kitten
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
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    Adopted Aussie residing in England for now
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    or show u where all the coffee making stuff is...smirks
    ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


    *Whatever O/our Souls Are Made Of,
    His and Mine Are The Same.*
    Emily Bronte


    ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

  19. #19
    cupcake
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    The Land of Awesome
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    3,319
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    "To live is to suffer, to survive is to find meaning in the suffering."


  20. #20
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
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    11,239
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    Hello and Welcome DrGeordi, hope to see you arond some more.

  21. #21
    kinky scooter tramp
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    NW PA
    Posts
    205
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    Hi & welcome
    The Baron
    The objection to Puritans is not that they try to
    make us think as they do, but that they try to make
    us do as they think.
    -H.L.Mencken

  22. #22
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    On earth usually cocke county tn
    Posts
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    hello and welcome
    I remember when my slut and I started with this lifestyle lots of confusion due to false perceptions on this way of life.My best advice I can give you if/when you find a willing partner is to take baby steps and fully discuss everythig and be as blunt as possible try not to leave too many grey areas.

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