It seems to me there is an infinate variety of realtionship patterns a person can choose in life. When I was young and found my first lover, he was 8 years older, we were poly, he was my primary, I learned ALOT from him in five years, after that ended, there was a period of decided celibacy, I was celibate for almost five years. Yes I am a masochist.

Then, in my 20's, I became poly/active again...almost all the men were younger as I got older. I became monogamous with a younger man and that had a sad ending...was it cause he was younger or because we were monogamous? I think it had more to do with character and maturity than a physical age...

It is not that I had an adversion to older men,...it just worked out that I had a lot of younger lovers. It was good while it lasted. All of it.

Romping with the boys (and a few girls, I have a deep preference for males) was very exciting, though not necessarily technically proficient, there was the enthusiasm, so there is something to be said for younger men.

Some of them were able to dominate me sexually, some of them just wanted me to call the shots, some could inflict the right amounts of pain and recieve their own...some of you might be thinking, this is not a question for a switch, as I was not looking for a Dom in particular but someone who was both Dom and sub, but the issue of age/maturity and the quality of sex and preference applies to all sexual realtionships...which is better or more preferable, older, same, or younger???

I found suitably rough domineering partners that were younger, but the one that stands out was about 5 years older, he was french, and he had the mindset of a real Dom, not just a domineering personality, but a dominant sexuality...he made me come hard just by holding me on his lap talking to me half in french, forbidding me to touch myself and pulling my hair...we had no talk of lifestyle, or the fact that we were kinky, we just knew. It was a natural progression. We had the advantage of both having tattoos in places that just screamed sadomasochist...

Now that was sweet, no direct physical contact with the organs associated with orgasm, but better sex than the best fuck...he had the Dom mindset for sex. I think this is the part most folks are not good at when they are younger...I suppose it can be learned, or honed, or naturally developed...the more cool tricks you learn that work and the more your study and practice what you love to do, the better you are at something, especially Dominating, the more confidence the better, the more lovers I had the more I figured out what it is I truly want.

So I played with the boys, recently it occured to me it might be healthier for myself to consider an older man, I was poly most my life, did ALOT of shopping around, was mono once and he cheated on me (big advantage of being poly, this never happened, as I was always honest and so were my lovers...good enough for me) Healthier, in that older men seem to have it more together, my young man that talked me into monogamy and cheated was a big lesson...and bang, I meet a really interesting older man, with a perceptable experience level and similar taste for kink...

I guess my point is whatever you wish for or look for, you can get, if you are wondering which way is better TRY IT! (if you are not tied down, so to speak)...self doubt has been my biggest enemy and led me into the worst realtionships. I mean, why worry about what most people want (we are not them) and figure out what you might like and try it! Older, younger...they both have pros and cons, from my experience...it is compatibiliy of the individuals that shines the brightest and best, not a certain age difference...

Older? Younger? Same age???

In my experience, I have found good in all of it, perhaps having a less preconcieved notion and going with the flow of things, assessing each man as an individual rather than a "type" or "age" has led me to some good lovers and some lame ones...it really is all a carnal crapshoot after all, with individuals of any age.