Is it really about moderation? Isn't it more about just doing it right?

A submissive woman who meets a manipulative, selfish and mean Master can be very hurt by it no matter how much she does it all for the right reasons.

And then you've got the problem of that love hurts. Any love. The end result of any relationship is most likely to be a lot of pain. We have to be pretty damn lucky for it not to go that way. But it's still worth it, because it lets us grow as people.

Any relationship that doesn't evolve; and just conserves you into a role that you haven't picked by conscious choice; and that doesn't change, is always bad. If we're not growing a little all the time, we're dying a little all the time.

It sounds to me that you have had unsettling personal experiences that you don't really know how to deal with? If this is true, I suggest you post what has happened and what your thought on it are. It doesn't matter if you're not sure. I'm sure the collective brain of BDSM library can help you.

[input from my slave] A bdsm relationship is a normal relationship, just like any other....but a chrystalisation of a it. The roles are more clearly defined. If the tension the Master builds up in the slave isn't taken care of by a lot of love, off-course the balance is off and it may become unhealthy.

edit: Stockholm rocks!!! Hello neighbour.