Tessa, thank you! I do appreciate your kind thoughts.

Cariad, I would like to talk about exactly that issue. Would you like to discuss it in private? No pressure or anything if you don't want to. Just please let me know if you're interested in talking about it.

TomofSweden, hejsan! Yes. You are right that I have had bad experiences and I am very concerned that they may be the reason I am interested in BDSM. This worry is compounded by all the other BDSM practioneers I've known. I have participated in a few BDSM communities both online and off, and about 80-90% of the subs and maybe 50% of the doms who I have spoken to about the issue are survivors of child abuse.

We know that self-destruction as a result of self hatred exists. We know that Stockholm Syndrome exists. We know that victims of abuse are prone to become "used to" the abuse and expect it or associate it with love. We also know that abuse and extreme insecurities can lead to clinically narcissitic and sadistic behaviour.

I think it would be foolish to deny that some BDSM practioneers will have the issues outlined above. The question that is concerning me is how many? 2%? 25%? 50%? 75%? 100%? Before someone tries to jump in and answer that question as statement of fact, let me please say that I really need a thorough analysis to support such a statement. If someone tells me "I'm mentally healthy and I practice BDSM," it won't convince me simply because anecdotal evidence from someone on the internet who could be anybody is not convincing. In order to answer that question I need either a scientific study or a very well-thought out analysis by someone who demonstrates that they understand something about the psychological, neurological, and sociological issues present.

On a side note, how is BDSM the same as a normal relationship? One is based on inequality while the other is based on equality. I don't see the parallel.