I don't feel completely comfortable discussing it here, because it seems to make people angry every time I ask the question, even if only to myself. When I have tried bringing up this question before in a couple communities, I never got a chance to even discuss the question. Instead, several people very angrily tell me that BDSM is without a doubt a 100% healthy practice simply because it is, and I am being offensive if I question such a fact. I don't get to discuss the question because I get diverted into defending my right to ask the question. That hasn't happened in this thread, so maybe it won't, and you could be right that this is a safe space.

As for the equality thing, equality means there is no domination and submission. Certainly you have balance and that's great, but I don't see how you can say that equality can coexist with domination and submission when one is the opposite of the other. We might just be arguing semantics here. The point is that domination and submission doesn't happen in a normal relationship, which is why a normal relationship is considered "equal."