i also disagree with the idea that bdsm is a relationship based on inequality. there is a very distinct, but fragile balance between two people involved in a bdsm lifestyle relationship.

granted the balance may not be seen as the same you would see in a "vanilla" relationship, but that may simply be because it's not widely accepted.

you must have a submission to have dominance and vice versa. you must have respect and trust from both sides in order to make anything work. a bdsm relationship is, in my personal opinion, a "vanilla" relationship intensified and taken to a whole new level.

you will not a find a good Dom that does not respect and see His or Her submissive as an equal. it takes just as much strength to submit as it does to dominant, and the individuals involved in a TPE type relationship will know this.

oh and i wouldn't worry about starting a "flame war". it seems that everyone on here can intelligently debate and/or discuss just about anything without involving or resorting to insults. plus our wonderful godlike mods keep everything in check.

i'm not sure if this ties in with this particular subject but... i've always wondered if deep-rooted psychological truama, like being sexually abused as a young child, affects whether a person is submissive or dominant. it would seem logical but then how could find satisfaction? for example say as a child, a female was sexually abused constantly by her father and later in life she discovers that she is submissive.... do you think her earlier abuse caused her to have a certain mindset? to just give in, to just please? and if so.... wouldn't it ultimately be traumatic for her?

i'm not saying i necessarily agree with this line of thinking... i was just wondering....