ok, what if a person who has been the victim of abuse and looks for aspects of that abuse and in some ways a continuation of it in a future spouse. So what? If it makes you happy, why not? Love is an all internal feeling. No matter if you've got a boyfreind or not, it's all happening in your head. If not having it makes you feel like you're missing something...you're not exactly comming out on top are you?

Quote Originally Posted by duktig flicka View Post
On a side note, how is BDSM the same as a normal relationship? One is based on inequality while the other is based on equality. I don't see the parallel.
I've got issues with almost every syllable in this.

First off. It's normal that women are opressed. So much for normal relationships being equal. Even in the west women have the short end of the stick in almost every concievable way, no matter how you measure.

Equality is a mythical animal I think we've yet to see in life. Nothing is equal.

Based on inequality? My slave gets hers. I'm certain of that. Being an obedient slave and living for her Master is actually what she wants in life. Her needs are being fullfilled. What more could she ask for?

My slave is sitting next to me right now, and burst out into this, "Why would I want to live in an inequal relationship? That's just stupid. I'm not."

I think the error in your thought is this: You seem to think a healthy human is a supremely logical and rational being. When the truth is nobody is. It's some kind of Rosseauist-Spinozist residue in thinking that just isn't true. There isn't a healthy human emotional equilibrium. A person in harmony. A human like that have never existed.

But this discussion is likely to be quite one sided since the people who don't think the BDSM life-style is healthy, would off-course not be on this forum at all. So don't be sad if you few of us agree with you.

edit: And as far as abuse goes. I'll bet you lots of money you'll never ever find a person who has never been abused. Last year the Swedish govornement did a survey on sexual abuse on teenagers. They found that 100% of all eighteen year old girls in Sweden had been the victim of sexual abuse at least once. And this is Sweden. Land of equality. Have practitioners of BDSM been more of victims than others? Who knows?