I think the topic is going to be aired on this forum anyway - and I am pleased about that.

In my opinion, there IS domination and submission in a normal relationship, and generally speaking, it is all one way: the stronger-willed, more insistent person prevailing over the other, often with no benefit or satisfaction to that other person. The thing is, it is not ... or not necessarily ... linked to sex (although sex is a weapon in some normal relationships). BDSM is primarily a particular way of carrying out sexual activity and fantasy. "Normal" people fantasise too and do strange things, including abuse each other. Abuse is not BDSM - it is simply abuse.

There can be no domination without submission, and in a BDSM, that occurs consensually and within understood limits. If those limits are exceeded deliberately by one or the other, then that person is no longer practicing BDSM. S/he is practicing abuse.

I speak without any specialist knowledge about psychology or mental conditions, but I would venture to say that unhealthy obsessions are not caused by BDSM activities, although obsessives might practice it.