Hi Louise,
*hugs* here too!
It's very courageous for you to speak out as you have, and I applaud you for it.
If you're not already aware of her, I recommend Judith Butler's book "Gender Troubles". In it, she says gender and desire are flexible and free-floating:
"There is no gender identity behind the expressions of gender.... identity is performatively constituted by the very expressions that are said to be its results. i.e. gender is a performance; it's what you do at particular times, rather than a universal who you are."
Another feminist author (Angela MacRobbie) has this to say:
"Feminism is about who you want to be - and finding out who you are in the first place."
I think that speaks to a wider audience than just women.
Anyway, it's a pleasure (still) to know you.
anonymouse