ABC's of DOMINANCE/submission

[Dragon's muse]

Dragon and i have been in the "lifestyle" (much as i detest that term).

It was easier in the "old days". When you only interacted within the closed circles of real life, you naturally had the most to do with those who held to the same philosophies and practices that you did.

i think that perhaps some of the bitterness in the article was just a result of natural "growing pains" of someone having their boundaries expanded and their limits stretched.

[TomOfSweden]

Dragon and i have been in the "lifestyle" (much as i detest that term).

It was easier in the "old days". When you only interacted within the closed circles of real life, you naturally had the most to do with those who held to the same philosophies and practices that you did.

i think that perhaps some of the bitterness in the article was just a result of natural "growing pains" of someone having their boundaries expanded and their limits stretched.

In the pre-Internet good old days we in Stockholm/Sweden had problem that the BDSM scene primarily consisted of really ugly and out of shape people, scaring off anybody with any personal grooming skills. I went to the bigger parties, (just for a breath of fresh air if nothing else) and I did become part of a smaller group within the scene which where stylish, (that later bloomed into the party promoter group I'm part of today). But I never went looking for partners in the pre-Internet BDSM scene. It was far too slim pickins. I need girlfriends who aren't only intelligent and submissive, but also sexy and hot. As far as I could tell most of these girls only dared leave their caves after Internet came, probably from fear of Master-assault at parties. As we all know subs can have trouble saying no and fake Masters can be very very very pushy. There was and is no shortage of sub girls in the vanilla world. Girls who just didn't have all the words for it The "love market" kept me effectively out of the BDSM world. I've got no nostalgia what so ever for the "good old days". Good riddance.

I liked the beginning of the article. Great and funny.

I didn't like his definitions of terms, though. Why can't a sub ask for a collar? Step one of getting anything in life is asking for it, right?

His definition of "slave" I don't agree with. I'd call what he calls "slave" for, "Gorean slave". It's down to word usage. A sub with a life-partner we tend to call "slave" today, right? So no matter what the dictionary says, it's not how we use the term.