If his Dominance is greater than my submission, then the door is open for abuse of me, if my submission is greater than his dominance, then I feel like a stranded sub.
First, I have to say, cariad, I was very impressed by the eloquence of your statement. It really made me stop and ponder...very cool...

In reading everybody's posts, it seems we have different definitions of equality, so duktig flicka, what did you mean saying a BDSM relationship is not equal?

I read it, and of course, using my own definition of inequality, I disagreed as much as everyone else... I think if that's been your experience, you have indeed been with the wrong people- not truly loving people.

For me... no I don't think I could make it on my own in this world without some help... and I am and have struggled with that issue... but this Master is helping this girl feel okay about that... feel better about myself, making me realize it doesn't take away from my intelligence or any other good quality He tells me i have (and the list is long according to Him )... so i'm getting to be okay with it... don't feel like a mental defective- lol- as much anymore...

But, to go back to the original question- I have often asked myself.... why am I this way? Was I born this way? Or is it because my father raised me in a very dictatorial way and Freud was right? Sometimes it seems so, but... I've come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter to me, because there will never be a way for me to be happy, satisfied, free, wholly me in any other kind of relationship... so it is what it is, and I decided to just enjoy it...

And let's say the root of my submission is some mental health issue, but within the BDSM relationship, I grow healthier and stronger and more self-assured and self-loving... well, I take that as a very good thing.

If BDSM is - let's say for me - masking some mental health problem, or is a problem in itself, then what are the options? Go to therapy to recover from it? And then have plain old boring vanilla relationships, and plain old boring vanilla sex?? No way!!!!!!!!! lol ok I got a little carried away...

But anyway, I've just gotten over needing to figure out why... I just know that I feel healthier this way, besides happier...

But, flicka, if you do do any serious research, I would be interested in your results and conclusions.