I think it's down to experience or maturity. Is being dominant about seeing how far you can go or is being dominant simply a way to be. What I mean is; is being dominant something you do or are?

My theory is that subs don't need to have their limits pushed all the time. What they need is to be dominated and serve. Which doesn't necesarily entail anything concrete. It's only down to emotional connection. This guy sounds like a little boy who's life revolves around breaking taboos and going as far as possible. It's cute.

I suggest you tell the guy to just do what ever turns him on and if it isn't working for you, then you're not meant for one another.