I have given this whole issue a fair amount of thought only I have been looking at it from a different angle. I know any submissive I want is someone who -to use words related to the topic you brought up- deserves a fair amount of my respect as a near equal. This brings to question why I am dominant and she submissive if we are both equal.

The short and simple answer is the situation is like it is because we both want it that way and committed to each other in this way.

So how would I respect her? I would respect her like I would respect any other person close to me. But that’s a simple sentence that’s not so simply implemented into a real D/s relationship, which at its core says one is above the other somehow.

It seems to me from the focus of your post that your Master doesn’t disrespect you or do anything to disrespect you, rather you are trying to square the idea of both being respected and submitting at the same time.

To directly give you an answer to your problem I would have to ask you why you submit. Do you submit because you are less intelligent? Because he’s a man and you’re a woman and therefore are somehow under him? Or do you submit because you want to submit. I would think the latter from your post. If you only submit because you want to submit what’s demeaning about that? It's just a part of who you are rather than something that's needed because you are lacking somehow.