Wow interesting replies and very insightful. I like the fantasy about being made to clean another girls desk even though it's not sexual it's a nice concept.

And even though in bdsm terms to say I'm only a sub in bed is an insult I don't think of it as such as I am just that. My submission can reach to domestic duties and other things but I would have to be aroused for it to feel right.

Just being bossed around when I'm trying to get on with my day and there has been no effort to get me aroused would be annoying. I'm very assertive when I'm not horny so you have hit the nail square on. I'm sexually submissive and proud.

As for finding a sexually dominant vanilla women, well that is very difficult once you leave the realm of kink that is the bdsm world the chances of finding what I'm looking for shrinks.

It would be like trying to find a needle in a haystack blind folded with one arm tied behind my back.

And think about all the relationships I would have to have with women who just aren't interested in my sexuality. I couldn't tell them outright because that would be to farout for them to take in but if I started a relationship without telling them it would feel dishonest on my part and the vanilla dating dynamics make me feel awkward so they would only end up feeling rejected. So it's a bit of a catch 22.

If Dommes and the bdsm world are not the place I'm gonna find someone then I will end up having some very dishonest dysfunctional vanilla relationships...Oi whats a man to do!!

At least on the bdsm scene people are openly kinky, if I was to tell most vanilla women that I'm sub they would just walk away and think pervert, it is never a shock on the bdsm scene even if I'm seen as irrelevant by most Dommes it's not shocking.

And thankyou very much Louise, it seems you understand my situation. It's funny how dressing up has made people except me more. It gives me a sparkle of hope.

By the way I'm in Thailand and this keyboard is driving me crazy too!!!!

As for most vanilla women being essentially sub I think it is submission in a vanilla way as in they don't want to be whipped, made to do the dishes or peed on but they still wanna be helpless.