The things that are likely to stick in your mind as you participate in a community like this are the most extreme things. If you're going to get your introduction to BDSM in a place like this, it's just important to realize and remember that it's not necessary for everyone to live at the extreme end of the spectrum. For every person who has 6 live-in slaves who wear chastity devices 24/7 and have highly structured rules about when they're allowed to speak, there are probably 30 people who like to tie up their partner, fuck them in the ass and then apologize for forgetting to pick up the dry cleaning. No spot on that spectrum is inherently "better" than another. It's just about finding the right place for you. So if you're not sure that you'd be happy being actively submissive every day, don't be afraid to try being submissive for just one day.
Thanks Cage for this. I remember back to discovering this whole realm and how confusing it could all be sometimes, especially from a submissive standpoint. It took a long time to sort out all the definitions of what this lifestyle is and how I could define it for myself and what it was that I wanted and needed in my life....and how much etc. etc. etc. Reading your words then would have helped me so much, and I thank you for putting them out there for those who can use them now