Quote Originally Posted by moptop View Post
Have been neglecting my duty of reading and feeding back on stuff - HGZero, you are so lucky, you are my first victim!

Actually very little to criticise. I thoroughly enjoyed it, I could visualise the action as the dialogue was going on. It made me smile all the way through, so it worked!

I liked the way you brought in the occasional 'said X', just to make sure the reader didn't lose track of who was speaking, but without losing the flow. I agree with Mr Dean that you could vary this a bit more. There are all sorts of other verbs you could use; and they in their turn could allow you to sneak in a teensy bit of description whilst not actually breaking the rules - so instead of just saying or answering, they can snarl or smile or whatever.
May death come quickly to your other victims. I am starting to agree. In stories mostly baced on dialouge, breaking my 'said' rule, is allowed. On the other hand it's like learning to drive a stick shift in europe. A good skill to keep in mind, but one I rarely get to exersize.