Hemloc, I know these words are not yours, so I want to say that they strike me as being a bit off kilter.

Why is it impossible for a trainer to be in love with a submissive? I see no conflict here, if I truly love my sub I will let them know when they fall short in my eyes. Doing less than this does not just belittle them, it lessons me as a Dom and a man.

Love is an integral part of a D/s relationship, IMO. Without love all we have is play. I can play with anyone, but that does not mean I can dominate them. To be truly dominant I have to know the person, her limits and how hard I can push them. This is a relationship, not the Army. And the Army is even about relationship more than obedience.

You are right that a sub has to take a risk, but so does the Dom. If the risk is not mutual there is no relationship, there is only a game. It is just as easy for a sub to be disappointed in me as it is for me to be disappointed in them, and a failure to recognize this strikes me as the worst type of arrogance I could commit.