I am concerned that Janine hasn't come back to this thread (or at least hasn't posted). The thread has taken on a bit of a life of its own now - interesting in itself (one of the first things my beloved said to me when we were first talking about what we each wanted out of a relationship was 'I want you to take the risk. I want you to risk that it might not please me.' And it is quite scarey).

But - to stop myself getting equally side-tracked - I do hope Janine and her sub have sorted things out. There have been many, and totally contradictory, opinions given here. My own is - talk, talk - if the talk is getting no-where, then I would say the relationship is in trouble. It's not necessarily a BDSM specific thing, although it so happens that your sexuality is. It is possible that he wants you to impose yourself on him; and possibly in a different way than you have been (not just physically, for example; or not physically at all for a while, but to take control); it is possible that he really does just need you to be more loving and supportive. Being a sub can take its toll, sometimes, as can being a dom. I don't think this is an easy way of life for anyone.

I wish you both the best.