tired, I found your post touching and endearing. And the bit about the bad messages - painful. I'm not in chat much, I'm not a great one for PMs etc - I tend to stay on the forums here, and all I can say is, the people I meet here are fantastic. I am quite sure a good man will come along for you, and I wish you all joy out of it. You do deserve it - I don't consider it wrong.

I do still hope that you manage to carry on talking to your wife, and are at least able, in time, to gain understanding from her of your needs. Secrecy is no fun.