Am I driving myself crazy?

[mysc]

erm...he is inexperienced. You knew what you did when you picked him, and you know how impossible you where when you where new, (he says all knowingly).

Just as Wolfscout points out; you need to be patient and you need to be careful with what feedback you give him. There's many more things for him to figure out other than pleasing you.

Yes I know that I have to be patient...and for that last sentence.... as your whole post... it really get's me a bit pissed off...
It's not like I'm pushing him in any way... the post was more about my state of mind and how I could avoid that. And that last sentence... well I'm very sorry but I don't want him to please me, I want to please him...

This could be my pms, or me just being female, but you sound very offensive...

[TomOfSweden]

And that last sentence... well I'm very sorry but I don't want him to please me, I want to please him...

This could be my pms, or me just being female, but you sound very offensive...

Yeah, I know. It's my wonderful abrasive personality. Something for me to work on. But that said, I think you are wrong. I'm a dom and I want to please my slave. But the catch here is that pleasing a sub/slave is different than pleasing in a vanilla way. Or to formulate it differently, he does want you to be happy, doesn't he? He has to figure out how to do this. Social pressure tells us what to do, which doesn't work in a BDSM setting. I've yet to meet somebody with a fetish for being miserable...no wait, I have. But that wasn't in the BDSM scene.

[Guest 91108]

Growls. Chuckling at a frustrated sub. That is very unwise. Very unwise indeed. Have you checked your life insurance recently?

Mysc, I wish I had an answer for you, but you might find that kicking the shins of an unsympathetic Wolf gives some temporary relief...

cariad

oh lady c. ~~ your words hurt me to the core.. you know I am always considerate of both sides .. well until one doesn't listen and need to be set upon a flaming hot griddle to make them understand with their hard headed subbies self.

Yes I know that I have to be patient...and for that last sentence.... as your whole post... it really get's me a bit pissed off...
It's not like I'm pushing him in any way... the post was more about my state of mind and how I could avoid that. And that last sentence... well I'm very sorry but I don't want him to please me, I want to please him...

This could be my pms, or me just being female, but you sound very offensive...

I think what Tom may have meant and i've not seen it.. is Doms have to think of many things when they perform their actions. It's not an easy thing.
perhaps it wasn't an answer to your post.. But neither was it out of line .. threads often have branches that don't necessarly pertain to the original post.
I would be nice to see more subs who seek to please rather than be pleased.
And that is all i'm going to say on my last sentence.

[John56{vg}]

I would be nice to see more subs who seek to please rather than be pleased.
And that is all i'm going to say on my last sentence.

As a Dom I have a bit of a concern with this. I am pleased, immensely, when my subs are pleased. It is an equal consideration. If I can please the women I play with then their pleasure heightens my own. So I, for one, want a sub that wants to be pleased.

Does pleasing your subs make you a bad dom? Not in my book.

And I don't think Mysc has mentioned that she didn't want to please her partner.