I have been wanting to post a similar question on this topic, as I have been struggling to understand the whole meaning of being submissive and being Dominated.

I have a wild, kinky side, but it is not prevalent in our relationship. My submissive side however is there and I utalize it in any way I can. Being submissive to my boyfriend in a non sexual context, makes me feel better about myself in general. I need to have that dynamic in the relationship, if I didn't it just wouldn't feel right.
In the vanilla world I suppose I would be labeled as a doormat.

I intially felt that if I did not have the kinky sex, I wasn't a submissive.
I explored my kinky side and also discovered that it was not the same unless I was submissive.
It is difficult to put into words as to how or why I feel this way; there is probably no real definative answer to it.

Submission and kinky sex are different entities, but as others have said, combining the two just makes things that much more enjoyable.