When your Master is to possesive

[Austerus]

There are certainly different styles, and some styles are about micromanagement. But if that is this dom's style, it doesn't sound as though he made that clear before offering a collar. That's a pretty egregious mistake right there. While it is both people's responsibility to communicate their needs as they move along into a relationship I feel pretty strongly that the onus of final responsibility falls to the dom to ensure that negotiations are very clear, and that a full understanding is had by all, and that terms are onsensual. The nature of a Master/slave relationship puts the lion's share of responsibility for safety and sanity on the dom's shoulders.

If a dom takes a slave without any negotiation, I will come right out and say he has failed the slave as a master before the collar has even closed around her neck. At -best- he has been irresponsible, and at worst he is predatory.

Being new is no excuse either. Being new to D/s and eager to own another person is the last possible reason any of us should accept for being unsafe or abdicating responsibility. There are lots of resources out there, and lots of great advice, and -plenty- of playmates to be found to learn with in a more casual setting than that of Master/slave. Someone who is unwilling to use those resources in his quest for a slave -right now- is not ready to own someone.

[Clevernick]

If a dom takes a slave without any negotiation, I will come right out and say he has failed the slave as a master before the collar has even closed around her neck.

I agree with Austerus, your master has failed. But I think it would be a disservice to you, creamy, to let you go away thinking you have somehow stumbled again into a bad D/s relationship through sheer coincidence. This isn't your first. His advice applies to you too.

You too must learn to negotiate and clarify your needs and what you will and won't give up, before committing to a relationship with a Master. It's probably too late for this one, this time.

But if you take all the good, loving well-deserved support from this group and use it (or misuse it) to feel "I was right, he was wrong, why does all this bad stuff keep happening to me?", well, that is a danger to you yourself.

Because if you don't learn from it, it'll just keep happening to you.

Hugs and wishes for growth!